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Shaman Monster

My wife asked me to go polyamorous, how to decide?

/ 3 min read


Bro, that’s like asking if you’re cool with adding more spices to your laksa. Could be exciting or too hot to handle! Think about what you’re comfy with in your heart’s surf spot. Ready to catch more waves or prefer to ride solo?


Alright, diving deeper! Picture this: Your relationship is like a cozy bonfire on the beach. Inviting more people to gather ‘round can make the fire bigger, brighter, and more lively. But, not all wood burns the same; some might make the fire crackle and pop in unexpected ways.

Here’s the game plan:

Know Thyself:

Like checking the surf report before hitting the waves, understand your own feelings. Are you open-minded like a zen garden or more traditional like a vintage vinyl collection?

Communication is Key:

Chatting with your partner should be like a smooth longboard ride, not a choppy sea. Discuss expectations, boundaries, and, most importantly, feelings.

Jealousy, the Sneaky Wave:

It can sneak up on you like a rogue wave. Be honest with yourself if you’re ready to ride it or if it might wipe you out.

Check the Vibes:

How’s your relationship’s foundation? Solid like a rock or shaky like tofu? Poly requires strong trust and understanding.

Safety First:

Like wearing a helmet when skateboarding, ensure everyone’s physical and emotional safety is top priority.

Remember, it’s not about agreeing on the spot like choosing the day’s surf spot based on a friend’s say-so. Take your time, paddle around, and see what feels right. Choosing this path is like joining a multi-day surf comp - exciting, challenging, and requires teamwork and respect.


Let’s wax the board for a smooth ride on this convo wave:

Express Your Feelings:

I feel like we’re on a tandem surfboard, and you just suggested catching a wave I didn’t see coming. I need some time to think about how that wave feels for me.

Open Up About Fears and Hopes:

Adding more surfers to our wave sounds interesting, but I’m a bit worried about wiping out or losing our groove. Can we talk about what safety measures we’d have in place?

Discuss Boundaries:

If we’re going to surf a bigger wave together, I think we need to agree on some surfing rules. Like, how do we make sure we’re always communicating and keeping each other in sight?

Seek Clarity:

Can you share more about what you envision with this? Are we looking at a big wave competition or more like free surfing with friends? I want to understand your perspective better.

Share Your Needs:

I’m all for exploring new beaches, but I need to know our home beach is secure. Let’s make sure we’re both feeling strong in our duo before inviting others to hang ten with us.

Remember, bro, this is like navigating a reef break — take it slow, watch out for the sharp bits, and communicate to make sure you both catch a good ride together.

Surf’s up on honest and open vibes!



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